The Benefits of a Gentle Answer

A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word sirs up anger.

Proverbs 15:1, NIV (1978)

 

This Bible truth has been one of the most difficult for me to learn. I am ashamed to admit that much of my younger years were spent more on the harsh word side than on the gentle answer one. But as one who has resisted this instruction, perhaps more times than not, I can tell you from bitter experience that the above passage is indeed correct. I have seen the results of a harsh word that I had uttered in anger quickly escalate into a fight that I was to regret far more time than I care to admit.

 

The truth of this verse really hit home in two events that happened very close together. And, while neither involved harsh words (at least none that were heard) both involved a response that had memorable results.

 

As with most of my ill-tempered mistakes in life, these two events happened while driving.

 

In the first incident, I was at a four way stop sign. Another car had got there about the same time but since he was the one on the left, I had the right of way... so I took it. When I did the other fellow laid into his horn in a very forceful manner. I looked over at him, made eye contact, and let him know that I was unafraid and unimpressed. He tore out and followed on my tail for several blocks before I came to a stop. Fortunately for me, he kept on going, and to his credit an unpleasant situation that we both may have regretted did not occur.

 

The second incident happened when I was driving along a busy street when I realized I needed to be in the left lane for a turn. There was a guy in a big pickup truck in that lane, so I slowed down so he could get ahead and I could scoot on over. But he picked that time to slow down, so I had to speed up. He decided at the same time to also speed up and I was running out of room to get into the lane I needed to. So I sped up, and ended up cutting him off. I didn't want to cut him off, but you can see that I had no choice.

 

He did not agree and he was not impressed.

 

To make matters worse, he had a girlfriend with him. I know this because at the light he pulled up close enough to my car for me to see them both. In truth, I could have probably seen how many cavities he had because he had pulled up, bumper to bumper in that big truck of his so he could look down into my little car. He looked to me as if he was in my back seat! I made eye contact with him in my rear view mirror and mouthed the word, "Sorry" and waved to him in an apologetic gesture.

 

The transformation was nothing short of incredible. His face, that had previously been a mask of rage, quickly lit up with a smile. He waved back and mouthed the words, "That's OK", and we parted as friends rather than enemies.

 

Now I realize that these incidents did not involve audible words, but the principle was the same as Solomon had given nearly 3,000 years ago in the verse that was quoted above: A gentle answer really does turn away wrath, whereas a harsh word really does stir up anger. It took me about twenty years (and several black eyes and swollen lips) to learn this lesson, but I eventually got the gist of it.

 

And, i should add, in a world that just seems to be getting more and more unfriendly, it's a lesson that is well worth learning. It's too bad that we have to learn so many of our lessons the hard way, but isn't it nice that we have such useful instructions given to us in God's Word. We have within our power the ability to turn a bad situation into one that is good, just as we can also turn a bad situation into a disaster. I don't know about you, but I prefer the one that leads to the happy ending over the one that ends only in sorrow... don't you? 

Being Prepared Does not Mean Being Afraid

Blessed is the man who greatly fears the LORD, who greatly delights in His commandments... He is not afraid of bad news; his heart is firm, trusting in the LORD. His heart is steady; he will not be afraid.

Psalms 112:1, 7-8, ESV

 

I know this might seem a bit contradictory, having a passage that tells us that those who greatly fear will not have to be afraid, but look at it more closely and we will see the point. The reason is that those who fear God do not have to be afraid of any man, nor of any bad things that might happen. Further, the fear of God is inclusive of our great love and of our high esteem for Him. It is true that we will have the "terror side" of fear when we ignore His commandments, but you will notice that the blessing for men who fear Him is predicated on their great delight in His commandments.

 

Having achieved that position before God - one where we greatly fear only Him, and one in which we greatly  delight in His commandments - we then will not have to live in fear of any bad news. It's not that bad news will not happen, it's just that we trust God to help us get through the trials of life.

 

This is the point in which we can now serve God to the best of our ability. Christians do need to be aware of the things that are going on in this world which can affect the way that they and their families will live. This is why we need to be responsible in the way that we use money and other resources, for if we are imprudent in this area, we and our families will suffer the consequences.

 

We also need to be aware of what is going on in the world around us. If we have leaders who are doing wicked things, then we need to be aware of those things so that we can do something about them. We might think that we can't do anything, but we would be wrong. You can vote. You can alert others as to what they are doing that you think is a cause for concern. And you can use the most powerful weapon in your arsenal - you can pray!

 

We are living in a difficult time at the present, and burying our heads in the sand and pretending that the things will go away is not an option. It's like hearing a strange noise in your car's engine when you are far from home. We can turn up the radio to drown out the noise for a while - we may even forget about the noise completely for a bit, but this does nothing to address the problem. Worse still,  our childish response may end up getting us stranded on the side of the road. The better thing to do is to try and find out what is wrong. If it turns out to be bad news, then fix it if you can, or walk if you can't. It's not the end of the world in either case.

 

It's the same with all bad news. We can ignore it completely, but someone will suffer in the end. So do what you can, be prepared where you are able, and turn the rest over to God. Even if the bad news that we don't want to hear is genuinely bad news - news that might even be fatal to our mortal bodies, we still do not need to fear if we have the right perspective. God does not command us to avoid bad news, he just doesn't want us to live in terror of it. The way we can best address any bad news has always been the same: We greatly fear God. We greatly delight in His commands. Then we don't have to fear anything else. For God really does love us and He really does not want us to suffer. We just need to be ready to do our part and then allow Him to do His part.

 

Being aware that "bad news" can happen, and then preparing as best we can for such events does not mean we have to be afraid. It just means we have to trust!   

The University of Hard Knocks

Can a man scoop fire into his lap without his clothes being burned?

Proverbs 6:27

 

Ralph Parlette tells of an event that happened when he was three years old. He was sitting in his high chair at the table where his family was eating breakfast. The coffee pot was close by and little Ralph started to reach for that pot. His mother, whom he said had never allowed him to do one thing in his short life without some sort of interference, told him to stop. He didn't. You can imagine what happened next.

 

Ralph did live, however, and he was to later reveal that he got a lap full of the reddest, hottest coffee that a bad boy had ever spilled on himself. 

 

In reflection, he said that it seemed like every time that he ignored his mother's warning that he got some sort of hot coffee poured into his lap. These were the needless "bumps" in the University of Hard Knocks that he was later to write about. He pointed out that there were two types of bumps in life - those that were needful, and those that were needless. He said that a wise man would only have to get one bump before he learned his lesson. The "naturally bright" man kept getting bumped over and over for the simple fact that he never seemed to learn his lesson.

 

I think we can all relate to this, for we have all had times in our own lives that we just had to learn the same lesson over and over again. Of course the fallacy in that statement is that the lesson was never actually learned - we were just in the same room when it was given. It's kind of like my high school and college days in some of my classes. Lessons were certainly being taught. This was made evident because so many of the other students were passing the tests. I, on the other hand, was indeed in the room when the lessons were being taught, but I wasn't paying very good attention. Like Ralph, it seemed that I had to have that same pot of coffee poured into my lap over and over again until the lesson finally set in.

 

This a a hard way to go through school, but it is even a harder way to go through life. God's Word is so clear on the lessons that He wants us to learn and, when we do learn them, life is pretty good. But when we fail to learn the lessons the easy way, the only way left is hard. And the hard way is always more painful than the easy way. It's like Solomon indicated in the verse above: If you scoop hot coals into your lap, you are going to get burned every time.

 

When we are kids we often think that our parents are there only to interfere with our having fun. But when we are older, we realize that this simply is not the case. They warn us to prevent us from having to go through painful experiences - some so painful that neither they nor we could bear them. It's the same with God. He does not hover over us trying to interfere with our fun. He is simply trying to prevent us from being burned.

 

One of the reasons that we read the Bible is to get these lessons in advance, so that we don't have to get burned in the future. God wants us to be with Him forever, but He will allow us to get burned if we insist on doing so. So, here is the question for today: Wouldn't it be easier to learn at the feet of our loving Father, rather than having to go to the school of hard knocks? It's something to think about, isn't it?

It's Being Awake, Not "Woke" that Counts

I know your deeds, you have a reputation of being alive, but you are dead, Wake up! Strengthen what remains and is about to die, for I have not found your deeds complete in the sight of my God, Remember, therefore, what you have received and heard; obey it, and repent. But if you do not wake up, I will come like a thief, and you will not know at what time I will come to you.

Revelation 3:1-3, NIV (1978)

 

I saw a video the other day of a man conducting an interview in a university town. About half of the people he interviewed were students on the campus, the other half were comprised of people off-campus. He asked a simple question: "Can a man have a baby?" The students who would answer were quick to state that he could, while the people in town just looked at the interviewer like he was crazy, before responding that of course he could not.

 

Now, this is not a rant about what is wrong with our young people today. I know a lot of young people who have more on the ball than I had when I was their age, and I am proud of so many of these young men and women. But for those who are defined as "woke" - those who believe that up is down as long as up self-identifies as down, and that a person can change the fixed laws of science and physics simply because it is politically correct with the group they hang out with - for these people I have small hope.

 

They are sad little snowflakes who are going to melt under the heat of the sun in this real world.

 

As sad as this "woke" state is in physical matters, it is downright tragic in the spiritual realm. There are way too many people who simply believe whatever it is they believe about God because this is what their crowd believes. And, just like the woke crowds on mainstream campuses across this country, you must not confuse these people with the truth, for truth is whatever they vote it to be. They are like Pilate who, when confronted by Jesus, asked that famous question, "What is truth?" We despise this ultimate politician for what he said and did, but how often do we say things like, "You have your truth, and I have mine"? And we think that this is every bit as rational as the modern woke person thinks they are rational in their belief that a man can have a baby.

 

And it is, in fact, every bit as rational. Both thoughts are equally crazy!

 

Unfortunately, that seems to be the fantasy land where all too many people reside today. But just as there are things that really are settled science such as the law of gravity, there really are things that are identifiable truths contained within the Word of God. In the passage quoted above, Jesus warned the church that if they did not wake up that the outcome would be unbearable. It did not matter that they had a reputation of being alive back then, anymore than it matters if a person has a reputation of being woke today. The point that Jesus was making was that they didn't have an excuse for their ignorance and that they were going to have to pay a price if they didn't wake up in time.

 

We are all concerned about the "woke", waking up in our day, for the consequences of remaining asleep, regardless of reputation for being otherwise, is too high for society to bear. But it is nothing compared to the servant of God who pretends that the ultimate "truth" is that the truth can be anything you want it to be. Our young people who refuse to be rescued from the woke crowd are going to have a very difficult life if they do not eventually wake up. But for those whose religious "truths" change with every wind of popular opinion and personal preference, there will be an eternal hell to pay. 

 

That is why Jesus encouraged them to "wake up!" For in the end, we will all be dead. And when we go before the Righteous Judge on that final day, the only thing that will matter will be whether or not we have woke up to the truth in time. It's not being "woke" that matters. it's waking up in time that will count in the end.

Are You Afraid You Might Be Going to Hell?

If anyone's name was not written in the book of life, he was thrown into the lake of fire,

Revelation 20:15, NIV (1978)

 

One of the things that rightfully scares us is the prospect that either we or our loved ones might be going to Hell. It is a reasonable concern, for Hell is a real place of genuine punishment. As the Apostle John pointed out in the verse above, everyone whose name is not found in the Book of Life will be going there. Having pointed out the obvious, we should be quick to say that God does not want us there anymore than we want to go. So, the wise thing to do now is for us to do our absolute best not to go there.

 

Easy to say, but hard to do - right? 

 

Well, it's not as hard as we might first imagine. Look at it this way: Suppose you are driving in your car and suddenly realized that you were heading directly for a lake. If you don't stop in time, you will end up in that lake and probably drown. What do you do?

 

This is not a trick question, by the way. The correct answer is that you stop driving towards the lake. Then you turn around and start heading in a direction that will take you away from that lake. "Well, thanks for the advice", you might be thinking, "but isn't that rather obvious?" And the answer, of course, is that it should be. But since this is so obvious, why do you think that there are so many people who are steering straight for the lake of fire, especially since no one in their right mind wants to end up there?

 

And the answer is this: It's just that they are not paying attention! Either they are ignorant of what the Bible states about the certainty of Hell for those who refuse to change their direction, or they don't believe it. They can read for themselves in the Word of God that Heaven lies in the opposite direction of Hell, but they stubbornly stay on a collision course with the lake of fire. Why would they do that? I think it's because they have convinced themselves that God will "switch things around" for them at the last minute so that the road to Hell will be changed to the road to Heaven.

 

This is a foolish and dangerous belief to maintain, but what other explanation could there be? If we believe that the Bible is God's Word, and we believe that He is not lying about the warnings of Hell anymore than He would mislead us in His promise of Heaven, then why would we think we could head in the direction of one but then magically end up at the destination of the other?

 

The point of all this is that God has made both the directions to the lake of fire and to the Gates of Heaven equally plain. We don't have to worry that we are going to end up in the lake of fire if we stay on the opposite path anymore than we would worry that we were going to end up in a lake of water if we were heading in the direction of dry land. The fact is that we have a "map" that gives us clear directions to our desired destination if we will just use it. Hell is not something that God made up in order to scare us. We are told that it is impossible for God to lie, so if our plan of salvation includes that idea that God is just kidding about Hell then we need to put that childish belief behind us.

 

Hell is a very real place and everyone whose name is not found within the Lord's book of life really will be thrown into that lake of fire if they don't change direction before it's too late. Heaven is also a very real place and everyone whose name is found within that book of life will be saved. So, how can we be sure that our name is there? We are told in Acts 2:47 that the Lord Himself will add us to the number of those who are saved. We know that this does not occur without His grace or Jesus' shed blood, but we are also told that He adds us to that number when we have believed in Christ and called upon His name, and when have repented of our sins (changed direction) and have had our sins forgiven by having them washed away in the waters of baptism.

 

There are many, many people who do not accept these truths, and that is certainly their privilege. There are many people who believe that Hell is not a real place, even though it is Jesus Himself who has told us it is. Again, that is their privilege. And there are many more who believe that though they continue on the path to Hell, that God will change their direction for them and place them in Heaven anyway. Once again, that is their privilege.

 

But for those who will accept God's way, for those who will change their direction to the one that God has given, there will be Heaven. He has promised this and those who love Him will believe Him. And then we won't have to worry about going to Hell someday. And that, my dear brothers and sisters, is a comforting thought indeed!