Praise loudly... blame softly.     

Catherine II

My oldest daughter and I recently had the privilege of coaching nine beautiful young ladies in a team basketball camp. We had one hour of practice before playing eight games in two days. We spent the first five minutes of that practice explaining what we wanted to see in the girls - a team!

Since I had coached most of these girls a half a dozen years earlier, I had only to remind them of the most important rule that they had played under for four years: You will never criticize a teammate. If a teammate missed a critical shot, or turned the ball over, or blew a defensive assignment, they were to have words of encouragement instead of criticism. Further, should they forget that one, simple rule, they would have to leave the game and come sit on the bench next to me.

For two days (three actually, but I couldn't be there on the last day) the girls played their hearts out. Each had bad games and each had great games but, in 320 minutes of playing time, I did not hear one word of discouragement towards a fellow team member. Instead, they encouraged, they cheered, they consoled, they praised and they won. In fact, the only game they lost was by two points and that was primarily caused by their coach failing to make a proper adjustment at a critical time.

Now, you might be thinking that this article is about basketball - but you would be wrong. It's about the people you work with, it's about your marriage, it's about your family and your friends. In short, it is about life! In life, we have the opportunity to encourage or to discourage, to build up or to tear down, to love or to hate. It is only when we choose to support one another in worthy efforts that we are able to achieve great things and, by the way, to have an awful lot of fun in the process.

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.    

Ephesians 4:29, NIV