Life is a place of service. Joy can be real only if people look upon their life as a service and have a definite object in life outside themselves and their personal happiness. 

Leo Tolstoy

When I was a kid, we moved around a lot. I would eventually make some of the best friends that I would ever have, but some towns were difficult. Denver was particularly bad because I left a neighborhood filled with great friends and went to an area where I knew no one - and, at 13, I became lonely and stayed that way for several years. I was just too shy to make friends at a very awkward age.

Years later I moved back to Wyoming right after college. It was at church services, of all places, that those old feelings of loneliness returned. This was strange because I was now married to my best friend, but with the church I was having a hard time fitting in. I found myself returning to the same bad habits I had when younger and waiting for people to come up to me to visit. And loneliness turned quickly to self-pity.

When I realized how silly this was, I started looking for others who were just standing around with no one to talk to. I swallowed my shyness and walked up to them and introduced myself. After a few weeks of doing this, I noticed a change. I had met so many people that now would gravitate to me just so they would have a familiar face to visit with.

This process led to an amazing discovery: It was only when I looked outside of myself and towards the needs of others that I became content. It was when I stopped focusing on my own discomfort and started looking to make others feel more at ease that I finally lost that loneliness that had haunted me for so long.

So, are you lonely? May I suggest that the only sure way to cure that loneliness is to look outside of yourself and begin to find out how you can make others feel more comfortable. Begin by introducing yourself to someone who looks ill at ease. Volunteer for something, call someone on the phone or send them a quick e-mail, just to say, "Hello". It may take a while, but I believe I can safely guarantee that you will never be overwhelmed with the self-pity that springs from loneliness ever again, if you will just start looking to the needs of others.

The greatest among you will be your servant. For whoever exalts himself will be humbled, and whoever humbles himself will be exalted. 

Jesus, as recorded in Matthew 23:11, NIV